Expendable

There is this myth that life is expendable, that we can do as we choose, that there are no ultimate maxims or a specific moral compass.  Or even if there is a God, that we can do as we please within a wide range of choices.  And while it is true that the universe gives us all a lot of rope to hang ourselves with, there are rules of the road that we either adhere to or we die.

A cancer diagnosis is one of those moments where we realize that we can no longer live the “expendable” life, that we now have to either pay the price for choices we made or make different choices and heal.

Many of you know the story of losing my wife to cancer 2 years ago.  She was healed naturally after her first diagnosis in 2015, using Hyperthermia, Ozone and IV nutrients, but died 5 years later when it spread to the rest of her body. And I learned that no amount of holistic treatment in the world can stop cancer if the emotional issues that are driving the cancer are not addressed.  Here is where we get to the rub!!!

What does that even mean…address the emotional issues?!?  We got so many different answers from practitioners, therapists and fellow patients, but nothing had any weight to it nor a specific trail we could follow.  One practitioner told us it was as easy as just dropping a suitcase and moving on.  Say what?!?  What is in the suitcase, how do we move on, and what does that look like? — He couldn’t tell us.  This was an enigma I couldn’t live with so I went on a quest making the film Beliefs & Stories to find answers.  The film continues to have the most amazing results I’ve ever seen with viewers having healing experiences of their own.  I knew we were on the right path, but I still couldn’t illuminate the trail for cancer patients or really anybody with disease.  Was there a specific trail we could guide people to?

I started doing my own scientific study to look at those who healed from disease to find out what they were doing that worked.  I also listened to those that were dying and noticed what they had in common.  Next I started working with folks to share the trail I found to see if it resonated and to my surprise, it did!

Very soon we will be opening a healing center on our farm (@thebitchenfarm on IG) with an EE system that provides pure energy to stimulate the body.  It has been so effective at energizing cells that unless a person takes a detox bath after being in the system, they will feel sick.  And since toxins are the result of all disease (per Dr. Carrie Madej), I am convinced this is the most effective way to provide a stop gap for the acceleration of disease.  But ultimately we will have to get to the emotional issues to heal the patient.  To that end I will be offering myself as a consultant to guide people through the labyrinth of the emotional world and all the misinformation we’ve been given over the years.  I’m confident that I can do in an hour what no therapist or doctor can do in 10 years.

The driver of cancer and all disease in my research is… drumroll please… allegiance — who we have our allegiance with and what that costs us.  If our allegiance is to a family system that forced us to shut up, disengage from ourselves, and protect a lie, we will die.  End of story, no get out of jail free cards, scoreboard.  If we are willing to take responsibility for our part in enabling that system and do whatever it takes to break free, we will live.  The cancer patient is struck with the great truth that life and our choices are not expendable.  There really is a cost to what we choose.  So the next question is why doesn’t everybody get cancer or why do many not “suffer the consequences” of their choices?  What I’ve seen is the cancer patient can die physically, and the non-cancer patient still dies, they just die emotionally.  So whereas the emotional work is paramount for the cancer patient, it heals everyone because it brings a person in harmony with their true nature and God.

So let’s talk about “the work” for a second.   I borrow heavily from the 12 step philosophy because that is where it began for me.  The work begins with a prayer . . . Admitted that I am powerless over _______ (whatever trigger, addiction or dependency owns me) and my life became unmanageable.  Came to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity and became willing to turn my will and my life over to that power.  (There can be multiple things we are powerless over, but the key in acknowledging powerlessness is that we remove our ego’s efforts to solve the problem.)

Now we are ready for the next step.  Make a list of resentments and fears and make 5 columns on a page.  The first column is the resentment or fear.  Second is who it’s directed to. Third is asking, “What is at stake, what do I stand to lose, what’s the worst that could happen?”  Fourth is “what is my part” and fifth are the Great Truths of the Universe that apply.

Let me give you an example:  I had a resentment against the government for lying, manipulating, and stealing as well as outright killing people for profit and control.  (First two columns right there.)  What’s at stake is the chance to live in harmony with my fellow man in order as opposed to chaos.  The chance to interact with all that life has to offer, be it music, culture, food, inventions, or spiritual connection. And the chance to just feel safe! (3rd column.)  Now comes my part.  This is the hard one because we get to the heart of taking responsibility and not being a victim.  My part is that I’m dependent on something outside me to make everything OK.  I still haven’t grown up yet completely and want someone else to do it for me.  On top of that there is arrested development and I have created addictions and hiding places to keep me from having to face life.  Then the Great Truths are that All is Well, I can trust what is deep inside me, and I am loved.  In Eben Alexander’s book, Proof of Heaven, he attests firsthand to the fact that there is nothing to fear and nothing we can do wrong down here.

Finally I am on the lookout for my secret agenda, the unconscious one that rules everything I do.  I can only find it by tuning into the unconscious. That shows up through music or bursts out in some irrational fear.  Unless I know what the secret unconscious agenda is, I will continue to replay the drama of my childhood over and over and over again.  My agenda is I want someone to hear my rage about how I was conned as a child and I want to brawl with anyone who dares to challenge me.  My wife’s agenda was to get love by proving herself with unavailable people and then squeeze herself to get that meager love no matter the pain.  Her allegiance was to getting the love from the unhealthy sources rather than giving it to herself in relation with the Almighty. 

The beautiful thing to watch with my wife Kerry was how she leveled up in her final couple months of life.  And though her body wasted away, her spirit was free.  As for yours truly here, I know that my job is to turn rage into love.  Those resentments and fears only hold me until I find my part.  Once I’m there I can find the path to freedom.

So here we are, December 2022 on the path to ascension, removing ourselves from the destructive matrix both in and outside of us.  Everything we do has beautiful consequences for not only ourselves but the universe because we know the end of the story…now we just have to choose to join in.  Gentleness is never bad.  Taking it slow is never bad.  When in doubt, do nothing.  If it’s urgent it’s not important and if it’s important it’s not urgent.  Congratulations!  If you’re reading this you just exposed yourself to a way home.